I decided that was a fun place to play and I waited until like 10 or so (I'd had a few drinks) and decided to go hang out at the jacuzzi. I decided instead of a real swimsuit, I would just wear some panties. I had several with me, none of which really stood the test of being a swimming suit. I settled on a bright orange pair of nylon string bikinis that fit pretty tight (i.e. they held stuff in pretty good….as long as I didn’t’ get too “excited”). I looked at myself in the mirror and convinced myself that they looked kind of like a speedo swimsuit (at least from a distance where you didn't notice the girly gusset, the sorta thin material and the elastic that had little lacy edges on it). I grabbed a towel, though over my shoulder and boldly walked down the hall (I'm on the ground floor) to the jacuzzi. On the way I thought, wow, I'm just like strolling along in girl panties....this is pretty bold…! I started to get an erection (not good)....but got to the jacuzzi...no one. "I had to bite down hard on my emotions, because a great valley of grief was filling up with tears deep inside me, and was threatening to overflow at any minute. My Daddy smiled at me, and winked once. This was more like I remembered him. Daddy would always give me a wink when times were bad, or hard, and it was his way of letting me know that he loved me, despite everything else that was going on. I blinked a few times, then managed to wink back."Son ... I wish I had more to give you, or that I hadn't ... well ... you shoulda had a better Daddy than me, Tommy. You deserved better..." No..." I managed to whisper, squinching my eyes shut tight."Tommy ... I want you to promise me something ... can you do that? Can you make me a promise?"I blinked furiously, and ran the back of my sleeve under my nose with s snuffling sound. I managed a nod, and watched as tears started to roll down his red cheeks."Son ... don't be like I was. Don't throw your life away like I did. It's just not worth.
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